


These Clandestine Hours

by ambiguously



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Infidelity, Sibling Incest, Whee!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-20
Updated: 2016-03-20
Packaged: 2018-05-27 17:55:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6294103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ambiguously/pseuds/ambiguously
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Han wouldn't understand, which is why they haven't told him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Clandestine Hours

**Author's Note:**

> See end notes for content notes.
> 
> On the one hand, I wrote this because I have shipped these two like burning since I was a kid and I look for any and all excuses to make them fuck. On the other tentacle, I have been watching from a distance as the fandom argues over whose ship is the most problematic. Clearly the required response was to write kinky incest, infidelity, and angst. Yay!
> 
> This one does not go to the OT3 place.

Han wouldn't understand.

Leia tells herself they're keeping this from him for his own good. They're protecting him from being hurt. They both love him so much. Finding out would cut him to the bone.

No matter how many times Luke kisses her, he's always got the same wide-eyed surprise and innocence she first saw in him back on the first Death Star, back when they were kids who thought they could save the galaxy if only they believed hard enough in their scrappy little Rebellion. They had, but that wasn't the point, that was almost by accident. Luke's grown up so much since the day she met him, and he's gone through hells she can never imagine, and still he's the same sweet boy who took one look at her holographic face and fell instantly and forever. He kisses her like a virgin who can't believe his own luck.

Every time. No matter how often they do this.

How can she help but love a dork like that?

Han wouldn't understand, though. He made that clear from the moment Luke set foot back on Endor. No matter how many hugs he gave his best (human) friend, no matter how grateful he was to see Luke alive and not gone to the Dark Side, Han had barely finished playfully messing with Luke's hair before he ribbed him about what Leia had said.

"Close call you had there. Gotta be awkward to find out you almost bopped your own sister."

Luke had laughed in his happy, genuine way. "You cannot tell anyone how close that was."

"My lips are sealed."

And Luke had smiled and Leia had never once let on that the 'almost' wasn't correct.

The first time was just before they established the Hoth base. Convoy statuses and master logs and personnel sheets had driven her up the wall and back down again. Everyone had wanted something from her, and a private grouching session with a friendly ear had turned into a tipsy grope. In ship's morning, she'd thanked him for a lovely time and hinted this shouldn't happen again.

If she'd forced herself to stop remembering that night, it probably wouldn't have, not again in her cold quarters on the ice planet, not tucked in together in their borrowed bunks on the medical ship after the disaster on Bespin, both reaching out in their grief and pain for someone familiar.

She and Han are making wedding plans, and she's scared. She's been scared, and when Leia is frightened, she looks for comfort. That's her excuse for visiting her brother. That's the face she wears to herself in the mirror after, scanning her neck for red marks from his teeth.

"We should stop," she wants to say, but Luke has her attention elsewhere, one thumb circling an erect nipple while his mouth laps at the other. His fingertips stroke the soft skin on the underside of her breast, gentle enough not to tickle.

She wants to take him into her mouth. Leia loves the taste of him, and the powerful hold she has when she licks and sucks and guards her teeth. She likes it best this way, suckling him down while his head works between her legs, lips and tongue tender as he reads her thoughts and directs himself where she most wants him.

She's closed her mind to him now, and she knows that worries him. They'll keep this secret from Han, but keeping secrets from each other is a road he's frightened of, too.

"Think of it like a game," Leia lies as Luke catches her eyes. "With any other woman, you couldn't read her mind. You'd have to ask her what she wants and how she feels." She rolls with him, pushing him beneath her. She could lay her head here on his chest forever, in another lifetime.

Luke reaches up to kiss her. He can't read her now but he can speak to her mentally. His mouth is open to her, exploring and nibbling and wanting. _"There aren't other women. There won't be any other women. I love you."_ She'd ask if there was a man but the only man Luke loves is the one man who must never know.

She tries to picture the moment, the conversation. She wants to believe Han's face wouldn't crack into horror and betrayal, that he wouldn't hate her for sleeping with Luke behind his back, that he wouldn't condemn them both for what they couldn't stop. Jealousy was ugly on anyone. He loves her, and he loves Luke. Had things turned out even a little differently, Luke would be the one worried over his soon to be husband's heart, even as he returned to his sister's bed.

She loves Han. She won't risk losing him. They can't ever tell him.

"Tell me what you want," Luke breathes into her. "Anything you want."

He will. Whatever she asks, he won't judge her need. He could spray warm and wet down her back. He could bring out the silicone phallus locked shamefully away in his drawer, gagging on the resilient surface almost to his throat before spreading her wide and pressing it into her, then slicking himself to penetrate her from behind. She could use the same phallus and take him as he gasps. He could wet his fingers, sliding two into her, then four, then his entire hand, tightly sheathed in her and pushing with his fist as Leia sobs and begs for more. They've used the Force to suspend in the air, reaching an intimacy she's only found otherwise in zero G. Whatever feels good, they've tried, caught in a free night here, and a stolen afternoon there between Leia's duties and Luke's studies.

She can ask him for anything, except what they can't have.

"This has to be the last time." She says the words out loud, deliberately, filling the air in his darkened room with the reality.

"If that's what you want." He won't let on that his heart cracks every time they say goodbye, knowing she's returning to the man they both love and can't both have. She knows he doesn't quite believe her. Luke thinks in a few weeks or months, Leia will be overwhelmed with the same desperate, disgraceful hunger, and he'll be there to sweep her into his arms and kiss her sweetly and offer her his love again.

She straddles his hips, reaching to guide him into her. Luke arches, always thrilled when her hand takes him, strokes his shaft and presses her finger against his spreading foreskin before she engulfs him. Luke has performed desperate, scorching acts with her body, but his eyes are innocent as they join again now. Their hands find each other, and Leia leans forward, kissing him with desperation, wanting to savor this moment. Her brother is deep inside her, stretching her, filling her, his mind open before her with the simple pleasure of thrust and give.

If they'd known from the beginning, this wouldn't have happened. If Obi-Wan had told them, if her parents had warned her, if his aunt and uncle had said anything, they would have known from the start. They would have been friends.

She doesn't know if their friendship will survive what they've been to each other. She doesn't know if he will agree to be her kind, geeky brother who shares her life at a slight distance after he's spent so much time as her secret lover who reaches into her soul and gives her the desires she's unable to express out loud.

Leia rides him hard, knowing he'll come soon, when he takes her arms. He pulls out, a short pain on his face, before pushing her to her back. Luke crawls down her body and buries his mouth between her thighs, just the way she likes. He's close, hard and ready and on his own edge, but he wants her to come with him. He doesn't have to pry into her mind, even as she keeps her mental walls up. He's found her small, erect bundle of nerves before, loved her tender folds with his lips and his fingers. She knows he's licking the salty traces of his own pre-ejaculate from inside her as he pushes her closer to her own peak.

If this is their last time, he wants her to remember him, as though she could ever forget. As though she won't live the rest of her life remembering the terrified drop of her stomach when she checked the date for a Senate memo she was writing and discovered her menses were late.

The fear pushes her now, fear of what's coming, fear of what will happen if anyone ever discovers them now. Leia's orgasm tears from her, filled with words she can't say to anyone, not even to Luke. He can't hear her mind as he reaches for her face, his mouth wet with her, as he pushes into her body the way he's done so many times these last several months. She's weak in her knees and her soul, and she drops the walls between them. Luke drives into her, needy in his own pleasure now, and he slips into her mind like warm honey, soaking into her and feeling the waves of her second crest buffeting against his own building peak.

 _"Oh no,"_ she feels him say, and they're both too far gone to stop, clutching to each other as they push past together, coming in a tangled shudder of minds.

As soon as he can move, he can't pull out of her fast enough. "Leia?"

"The math says we're safe. I was always better at math than you." She's going to undergo a genetic test in another month to confirm her frantic calculations. The med droids are discreet. It's not nearly the first time someone has needed that information before making the decision whether or not to terminate.

"You said you were protected." He's not accusing. Some men would. Luke's frightened for her. Vader's shadow never stops looming over their lives.

"Sometimes the vaccination fails."

Supply lines have been strained since the Empire relaxed its grip. Medical personnel don't always know for sure if they've received a reputable shipment, or if the lot was waylaid by profiteers looking to increase their take by cutting vital medicines with inert ingredients. Her life right now is dedicated to re-establishing trade routes and trust between systems. It's her own personal tragedy when her birth control fails. It's a planet-wide disaster when the plague can't be treated. She's wise enough to know the difference even if she's looking into a vast chasm right now.

"I love you. This has to end." She won't lie to Han any longer, not more than need be to paper over her old sins. She'll marry him in two months, and they'll start a new life together in honesty.

"I know."

Luke takes her hand, squeezing her. He'll make himself be happy for her, whatever comes. He'll do as she asks, because that's who he is for her. That's the man he's been since the day they met, her sweet boy.

Underneath that is another thought, a quiet stirring hidden deep. If Leia is pregnant with Han's child, she can't get pregnant again. The better part of a year stretches out before them where no matter what they do together, what she asks him to do to her, Luke can't possibly impregnate her again. Han won't mind if Luke takes her to the medical center for her checkups, if he spends time with her to ease the growing pain in her back. Han has no reason to suspect. If he never discovers them, he won't be hurt.

And Leia knows this wasn't the last time.

end

**Author's Note:**

> Contents include: incest, infidelity, minor references to watersports and fisting, pregnancy, and birth control failure.


End file.
